Hair removal is probably one of my least favorite parts about being a woman. That and labor pains…but hair removal still might be in the lead. I mean, it’s neverending!! The part that I think bothers me the most in my bikini line. I just want to be able to wear cute swimsuits!
I’ve tried everything–shaving with various creams, gels, solutions, it always leads to a zillion red bumps that honestly look worse than the hair. Nair? I was never able to get it to work. And it’s so messy! And it STINKS! Literally, it reminds me of perm smell. Laser hair removal? Redhead, no go. Laser hair removal doesn’t work on red, white, or blonde hair. I went to a few different places and got several test zaps to no avail. Electrolysis? Have you done your research on this?? It requires sticking a needle into each individual hair follicle and applying a direct ELECTRIC current to the root of the hair. Ummm… #thanksbutnothanks. You lost me at needle. I mean, I’m not petrified of needles, but for each singular hair??? Plus you have to treat each hair multiple times so you’re talking pain + expensive…. = I’m out.
So I’ve been getting my eyebrows waxed since I was a teenager and this led me to believe that I could easily handle a bikini wax. HA! #wrong. At least I didn’t start with a brazilian, there’s something to be thankful for. So the first wax I got was a strip wax and I went to this nice spa that had great reviews. When they called me back, I went into the treatment room (better referred to as the torture chamber) and the esthetician (better referred to as the sadist) gave me this not so cute pair of paper undies to put on. She had me lie on my back and told me to “relax.” Are you serious?? People only say that when something really terrible is about to happen! Root canal? Just relax. Annual exam? Just relax. And aside from the fact that this was an extremely vulnerable position to be in, she was pouring scalding hot wax on my inner thigh. Ugh lady. Just ugh. But I tried to “find a happy place” while she applied two long cloth strips over the wax. Then she told me to take a deep breath before she ripped off the first strip. I’m pretty sure they tell you that so you have air to scream with. I think my husband heard me from our house 5 miles away. It felt exactly how you expect hundreds of tiny hairs being ripped from the follicle at the same time to feel like–soooo painful! And my skin was MAD. Even redder than my hair. And on fire! So much stinging and burning that it made my eyes water. And the sadist, completely oblivious to my obvious anguish looks up and says, “now see, that wasn’t so bad!” Calling her stupid would be an insult to stupid people. And now I was in a terrible predicament. Cause there’s still a cloth strip attached to the other side. What do I do??? Run?? Can you magic eraser this crap off??? I was quickly contemplating my escape strategy when she yanked off the other strip without warning. More screaming. More pain. I hope she steps on a lego.
I spent the next two days waddling around our house in loose sweatpants. I still got tiny red bumps, but they went away pretty quickly and I was able to enjoy over a month completely hair free. But I was too traumatized from my experience to go back.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I still need a hair removal solution and noooothing is working! So I go back to considering the only thing that worked for me in terms of getting that nice smooth bikini line I wanted. But this time I did my homework and researched different types of wax and reviews of estheticians. Basically, hard wax is a layer of thick wax that adheres to the hair (supposedly not adhering to the skin) and gets yanked off when dry (no strip involved). There was a place in my area called the European Wax Center that offered a first time bikini wax for free. That’s my kind of pricing, and they offered hard wax, so I went for it.
They took me back to the treatment room (still a torture chamber) and the esthetician (we’ll call her nicer sadist) gave me the same instructions, just no paper panties. What?? We just met. And apparently nicer sadist doesn’t appreciate cheesy jokes that combat waxing anxiety. *sigh* So long story short(er), she applies a cleanser to the skin before then applies the hard wax and rips it off and guess what? Still painful… Surprised? We’re still ripping out hundreds of hairs at once peeps!! But truthfully, not as painful as strip waxing. Less stinging/burning, my eyes didn’t water, no red bumps later, no waddling for days. Nicer sadist applied some kind of serum on the waxed areas and sent me on my way, and my skin actually looked perfectly normal a few hours later.
So the moral of my story? Just letting you know that I prefer hard wax a hundred times more than strip waxing. No affiliate stuff here. Just might help you in deciding what works best for your hair removal needs.